As parents, we think a lot about our child’s education. We look at school ratings. We help with homework. We worry about reading levels and math scores. This formal curriculum is important. Yet, there is another curriculum at work every single day. It is more powerful than any textbook. This is the Silent Curriculum. It is not taught in a classroom. It is taught in your kitchen, your car, and at your child’s bedside. It is made entirely of the words you speak to your child. These words do not just convey information. They build the very foundation of your child’s identity, resilience, and worldview.
The Lesson Plan of Everyday Language
From morning until night, your words form a lesson plan. A phrase like “You can try again” teaches resilience. A statement like “Your feelings matter” teaches emotional intelligence. A rushed “Hurry up” can teach anxiety. An exasperated “Why are you so difficult?” can teach shame. Each interaction is a lesson in who your child is and what the world expects of them. This Silent Curriculum operates constantly, without a single worksheet. It shapes their inner voice, which will guide them long after they leave your home.
A View from the Classroom: The Evidence of Words
With over twenty-five years in a first-grade classroom, I, Kelly Culver, have witnessed the results of this Silent Curriculum firsthand. I have seen two children struggle with the same math problem. One child sighs and says, “This is tough, but I can figure it out.” The other child freezes and whispers, “I am not smart enough.” The difference is rarely raw intelligence. The difference is often the hidden curriculum they have absorbed at home. The children who hear “You are capable” and “Mistakes help you learn” come to school ready to engage. They see a challenge as a puzzle, not a threat. This was the core observation that inspired my book, Words Are Powerful: Blessings For Your Little One.
Intentionality Becomes the Foundation
Understanding the Silent Curriculum is the first step. The next step is becoming its intentional teacher. This means moving from reactive language to proactive language. It means choosing words that construct the beliefs you want your child to carry. Instead of accidentally teaching a lesson of frustration, you can deliberately teach a lesson of patience. Instead of a lesson in judgment, you can teach a lesson in unconditional regard. This is not about being a perfect parent. It is about being a conscious architect of your child’s inner world.
The Core Subjects of the Heart
So, what are the core subjects in this vital curriculum? They are the pillars of emotional and mental well-being.
· Self-Worth: This subject is taught with phrases like “You belong here” and “You are loved for who you are.”
· Resilience: This subject is taught with language like “I see how hard you worked” and “What did you learn from that?”
· Empathy: This is taught by modeling with words like “I understand you are feeling sad” and “How do you think your friend felt?”